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Name: ljtong
Date of Birth: March 14 Location: YooChun's heart Favourite Music: Rock (Punk, Alternative), K-Pop Favourite Artist: Rock -- Linkin Park, Rise Against K-Pop -- TVXQ (TVfXQ, DBSG, DBSK, THSK) Favourite Movie: Dead Poet's Society Favourite Quote: "I don't want to ham in the hamburger" -- ljtong udub 
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H.O.T is still love. So I am "suppose" to be studying. I got bored so I went online to just watch a few youtube clips, nothing to do with the boys or H.O.T. This is how it went, I subcrible to people and there was a Crown J video. It was V.I.P, Crown J, I have to say is good. And I love the way he talks. haha. So then there was a link to DBSK. I clicked on it *rolls eyes*. Then somehow I got to watching their Banjun Dramas. One part was Minnie singing "Full of Happiness" from H.O.T. I read people's comment saying how Super Junior made a remake of it.
[Note: H.O.T stands for Highfive of Teenagers] Then I couldn't help but to serach up H.O.T clips. (Along the way I watched two clips from the boys since they sang I Yah! and We Are the Future from H.O.T. -- Just a little spazz here: Woo Hyuk was watching the I Yah performance and he smiled!) I can't believe that I still love H.O.T music. Well I do listen to them but since H.O.T is at the H section, and I am at the character section of my playlist, I haven't heard them in a while. I love how (well the songs I like and love) all have to do with society. Looking back at it some songs of Dong Bang Shin Ki do remind me of H.O.T. For example, Tri-Angle has that H.O.T feel to it. With the eyeliner and the crazy hair-do. Goth-like and kind of 90's in a way [However, I think H.O.T memebers pulled it off better]. And Tri-Angle has to do with the corruption of the government. Now that is something strong. The song, Rising Sun also has that feel. It is about someone in the dark and waiting for the light to come out! The song ''O''-正・反・合 is another example but this time it is about unity of the governments, I believe. We have Purple Line which is a line of the Seoul Subway... okay... facts aside the song means someone lost their way in the tunnels and finding a way out. I am more positive about H.O.T's meaning because well there is more things one the songs that they have. Anyways, I am here saying that even though H.O.T disbanded in 2001, I still like them. Even though, they all seperated and only Kangta is part of SM, I still support them! I do not care if they are like 9 - 11 years older than me. At least they go to the mandatory military service for two years. [haha, their nice bods when they come out... unless they do office work >.<] I don't get why some people criticize H.O.T, maybe their looks or the name... but seriously, if someone says they are hurt by something and publicly announce it... it takes guts. I know for sure I would smile and lie and say I am all right. [Yes, I am talking to certain anti-fans and bashers out there, GET A LIFE!] Moon Hee Jun is exactly 11 years older than me. March 14th baby too!! Sadly to say he isn't my favourite. Hee Jun is pretty cool but... he is a little... serach up videos and just look at his style. I think he is done his military service... Wait he is... cuz he went in 2005. Anyway... he is 30... Wow... Lee Jae Won... is the youngest of the group and honestly, I am not too into him. I have to admit I know the least about him but he did form JTL with Woo Hyuk and Tony ^__^~~ Kangta aka An Chil Hyun... I prefer his Korean name but Kangta flows better =P. I wanted an Ecslipe because his character in a fanfic I read a while back (more like 4 - 5 years ago) owned one. He is the most popular, I guess. I can see why. He had done movies with Taiwanese actors and collab with Vanness from F4... He is in millitary service right now... ah.. only 1.5 more years of wait. Jung Woo Hyuk aka Hammer Boy. Damn, can he dance!! I am not only saying that just because... He got voted onto the world's best dancer... He was third. That's pretty darn good. I think Michael Jackson was first... but yeah. He seems kinda cold but in varitey shows he is warm =P. Lastly.... Tony An. He has such a cute face haha. He lived in the States, so he should know some English. I liked him... and I guess I still kind of do. He isn't the best singer but yeah ahaha it's very hard to explain liking a person. Oh by the way he is good friends with Andy from Shinhwa. Maybe I will do a thing for Shinhwa AFTER my exams... sighs. 2 days 3 exams. I need to start cracking in those books again. I would so need to write something on Anit-fans too... but it would be a waste of my time. If you don't like something, don't watch it, don't listen to it, don't care about it. Why waste all your time making little enteries saying how much they suck? Well this is to H.O.T from 1996 to 2001.... They "reunited" after 3.5 years. too bad H.O.T can never regroup again... but yes H.O.T Forever!! Reunion After 3.5 Years I Yah - My Favourite Song Wow this took me a while to type... because I also got distracted along the way. Ahahaha.... So... this is my dedication to H.O.T, JTL, Jae Won, Hee Jun, Kangta, Woo Hyuk and Tony! Maybe in a few years we will see you together again! Shinhwa shall be my next dedication! The "Legend" shall live on!! 10 years Hwaiting! - ljtong
I miss you Well I do miss someone right now. Why though?
Sigh, I sure fail this test... why should I miss that person, right now? I miss... no I will not say it anymore. I close my eyes and see you. Why should I miss you then? - ljtong
This is what I do
I got back from my vacation. They dropped us off at Crystal mall. We went inside and the two stores I went into... dealt with Dong Bang one way or another. When I got home... I saw my poster fell...(it got ripped too @_@ aigoo) Fixed that. I went online on forums from 8:30 until now... I caught up with all the news.
Dong Bang has really surrounded my world. Even though I didn't really listen to music (of anyone's that much) I still thought about Dong Bang. What is wrong with me? I seriously do not care if I get a guy or not. I mean just meeting them or even seeing them I would be too happy. Maybe I am exagerating but I do hope that I can love them... However, I will love them one more day! That is what counts! So... they are back in Korea again... but the airport photos show them sad. I don't like it one bit... okay more tired than sad. Plus, so many rumours about them... I need more Dong Bang REAL news.... - ljtong PS: Gone for 3 days and I only survived really 0 days w/o listening to seeing them.
CONGRATULATIONS
I am pretty sure that this news is real because I saw screencaps of it.
CONGRATULATIONS TO THSK FOR GETTING NUMBER 1 ON THE ORICON CHARTS FOR THE THIRD TIME! I am so happy right now, so I really don't care about what just happened. It is not everyday that a foreign artist in Japan gets this. They were the FIRST foreign artist in twenty-four years to get such a title. TWENY-FOUR!! That is OLDER than the boys. They are only twenty to twenty-two. I am so proud of them, breaking another record!! That is always something to be proud of them!! These are not just faily sells but WEEKLY. It is offical that they are the ONLY foreign artist in Japan to get THREE singles at Number 1. Oricon Charts Weekly! DBSKer Soompi Post Offical Annoucment on Soompi Translation on Soompi I am soo happy... This was way back in 2004  This is them now...  It is extremely hard to find the same pose haha but you can see the diffference. 2008 is a good year for TVXQ!! 1) They topped Oricon Charts THREE times this year. 2) They went to LA Hollywood Bowl and spent a week away from fans 3) Many, many performances 4) Their 4th Korean Album has been pre-ordered in HUGE amounts 5) It will be thier 5th Anniversay on December 26th, 2008!! Let's go back to when they first came out... Hug Debut Performance - December 26, 2003 AND compare it to now... T- Concert Love in the Ice (Forgot the date =P) I am so avoiding homework right now >.< Anyways... CELEBRATION TIME COME ON!!! Time for the groups hugs!!     Enough pictures... Wow I wrote this at 4 and it is like 11 now... haha Dong Bang Shin Ki, Aja Aja Hwaiting! You can do it... Let's makes History together, araso? I will do my best and you shall do yours!! Oppa, I wish that the five of can get some rest now, you are alltoo tired. You deserve this, your fans love you very much so stay healthy!! I am happy for them but I am scared since I just brought a $350 cell... =S
3 AM and can't sleep
To: You... My Special You...
Maybe cuz I am thinking too much... I don't know how to say this but I want to... So what if I heard bad things about you? So what if people say bad things of you? Are they really your friends? Friends will not say too much bad stuff about their friends. I don't care what people say anymore... at least about you... At the end of the day when I tuck myself to bed, you are on my mind. You are always on my mind. Always... I don't care about what you have done and all the things you are doing and what you will do in the future... Just please don't harm yourself... it breaks my heart I don't care about your past... We all have a past.... We cannot tell the future... I hope that you know the right path... Today, right now... I hope what you are doing now is good for you Make me smile... All I do know is that.... I love you today... I loved you yesterday. I loved you the day before yesterday, and the day before that. I loved you last week, I loved you two weeks ago, three weeks ago... many weeks ago. I loved you last month, two months ago... five months ago... and many months ago. I loved you last year, two years ago, three years ago... This will be the forth year of loving you... I started many yesterdays ago... I hope that in the future when I look back, there will be more yesterdays of loving you... Why? because your smile brightens my world, your words, I cling on to tightly. Your tears hurt me but I still believe, your lies; I've heard. Your laughs makes me laugh. I never want to let go. I still love you after I heard about whatever you did way back when.... Should I care? Should I? I do not... I am loving you today, is that good enough? I do not want to make lies... I will say it everyday once a day that "I love you today." I will say it until the day my heart decides to change. When it comes to you... my world is full... complete... But do you even know that I exist? After all... I... am... just... a silly fan.
Priorities I have such messed up priorities... if I was given a choice between reading a book and writing a paper on it (which is, by the way, due on Tuesday) or to think about choosing to buy which version of a Photobook... I would choose the latter.
When I am upset, I should be either talking about my feelings or even doing this, like what I did before... writing. Instead, I watch clips or MVs; those never fail to make me smile. It is pretty hard at times, to lie... At the end of the day, I am sad. I close my eyes wanting to cry, no tears come out. I watch a clip of the boys crying. I cry. Then I watch them laughing, I laugh. I watch them happy, I am happy. When they are sad, I am sad. When they rejoice, I rejoice... when they are being stalked, I feel sad for them. When they tell fans to study hard... I do it for them! Seems like mylife revolves around them more then it should... I put them before school... I even put them before God... at times. That is so not good. I don't know what to do or say sometimes... Anywho... I don't know which to choose Eng sub which is more expensive or no sub but cheaper plus no shipping fee? - ljtong
Thoughts
It is half an hour till midnight. I finished playing badminton about an hour ago.
Lately, a lot has happen...I got to decorate my room and put posters up. Chunnie is now by my bed. I can say I "sleep" with him. It sounds wrong but meh. I seriously wonder how many people will read my blog. I doubt very much... I mean if you do read it please tell me. It will make me feel better... but I guess yeah. I am listening to this song... well there are many songs there that can describe how I feel towards someone... and many songs that I want sung to me... obviouslymostofthemaredbsksongs. Yups, this one is quite sad but I am in love with the song because it is exactly how I feel... どうして君を好きになってしまったんだろう？ Doushite Kimi wo Suki ni Natte Shimattan darou? Why Have I Fallen For You? (Why Did I End Up Falling For You?) The whole song is sung beautifully by The Boys... but my favourite part of the lyrics would be: それでも君が僕のそば離れていても 永遠に君が幸せでいること ただ願ってる たとえそれがどんなに寂しくても（寂しくても） Soredemo kimi ga boku no soba hanareteite mo Eien ni kimi ga shiawase de iru koto Tada negatteru Tatoe sore ga donna ni sabishikute mo (sabishikute mo) But still, even if I'm nowhere near you anymore I'm praying that you May be happy for eternity No matter how much that would make me lonely (no matter how lonely) That is so true... I don't know guess I am in the dumps again... Aigoo, I just remember something else.... This letter that Chunnie read on this radio show. It was so sad... Chunnie's voice made it 10 times sadder than it was. When I listen to it for the past few months I wanted to cry because how true it is... Especially this part.... "I wonder about the differences in the way we talk... It's been over 6 year that we've known each other, yet we still talk like good acquaintances... But though she's only known you for just over a year, she talks to you like your best friend. Oppa and I... I guess that's all that we were... Seemingly close... Yet a little distant." There were many parts where I can say it works but this is the best part... though I am not sure how true part of it is... but yes... "we still talk like good acquaintances..." I'll take the last line of the letter written... "So today for the last time... I want to say this to Oppa... 'I Love you, Oppa.' " This is the first steps to get better... Even though he will probably never read this nor will be know about this.... Saranghaeyo Oppa Listening to The Boys and watching their clips just makes me forget about the world and it's troubles....
Stress
Wow I have not written in so long... I doubt anyone reads this >.<
Anyways, so much has happen since March, well for one I dropped one class so I only had 4 exams. I managed a better GPA. I also discover what I should do after I graduate university. What should I do, a midterm tomorrow plus all these stress on my shoulders. I close me eyes not knowing what I should do. I have no direction at the moment I can only run towards my goal. So many things that drives me crazy... like 1) school and my low grades 2) no one wants to hire me 3) my stupid love lofe 4) the pressure of needing to be in a university 5) feeling sorry for myself And with in all those points there are little stuff too. Aigoo... what shall I do? I want a dose of fanfic to forget about this. To live my life in a fanfic world.
I Lost it! It is like 12 am and I just finished my paper and fixing the printer. Also, I cleaned my folder and realized how much junk I have in it. I wonder where I threw my last semester stuff... I know it is in my room. Everything is in my room. Ah, what will I do when I grow up?
I have no idea why I am not that tired. I guess a lot is happening this moneth that is making me go crazy... both good and bad. I know I am losing it when I don't talk and cannot concentrate. I know I am out of it when I cannot sleep. I stay up mindlessly doing nothing. I want to write but I have no ideas. My brain is suck of it's juices. I am so tired. There is only one more month till last day of school. Exactly 30 days. Wow 30 days... but weekends don't count so like... so 4 weekends that is 8 days plus the Easter Long weekend is 10 days. So I have only 20 days of school. However I only go to schools 4 days a week. so minus 3 Fridays... 17 days... but 18 since I should count today. I cannot wait until the 17th goes. My last final. How will I manage with 5 exams in 4 days with like two exams in a day... one is at 11 then other at 1:30 Aigoo.... I am so screwed. My birthday is coming up =D I can't wait! I am gonna just rest all day long!! Not gonna go out I do not think. I am sick anyways. I just wanna see the clubbing scene. But Meh, I can wait. I mean I am sick =S Sigh... I was initally going to talk about Train. Well... I do not know what to say. I think I still like him. I am not too sure myself. I hope I am not. I need guy advice. I am so sad. There will be spelling errors and what not... too tired but I cannot sleep. - ljtong
Ramblings
I am almost 19 and yet my life is still being controlled. Ironic that at the same time you claim it is not. You say that choosing to go to post secondary is a better choice for me. What kind of jobs can I get? I do not care. My goal in life as never to be to make lots of money and live well. I want to be a housewife. I want to know happiness yet the happiness I found you do not want it. I have sense of joy yet it pains me because you blindly reject my feelings. You reject my feelings.
I know what I want. Sometimes, I wonder do I just make a smile for the world just so that they cannot see the pain you have given me. You say that I am old enough to do this and that, yet I am not allow to follow my heart? I really do not know what to do. I think I have surpessed enough for the past few months. I am finally able to cry out. Finally, I can cry after so long. I want that comfort... I have it but it feels nice to unleash everything. It feels so much better. Sometimes... I wonder why I have so many places of ramblings...Oh wells. I miss how life was like. I miss how it was like. I miss it. It is time to let go and live. - ljtong
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